Seeing the Ex

After the initial shock and awe have set in, I've been able to reflect a little more on what watching "The Beginning of the End" was like. I'm telling you, it really was like seeing an ex for the first time in months.

Within the first 5 minutes came a revelation that nearly knocked the wind out of me:

"I'm one of the Oceanic 6!" = "I'm getting married."

Not really the kind of thing I wanted to hear so soon; however, I came to terms with it, and now, I appreciate that I found out sooner, rather than later.

As the evening went on, each new piece of information only brought up more questions. Questions I knew I wouldn't get the answers to - at least not right away.

One thing became very clear to me - we have both changed. The eight months we spent apart almost allowed me to get over him, in the sense that I was no longer so obsessed with him. However, seeing him again has made me fall even harder for him, even though I know I can't really have him. Besides, this is not the Lost I used to know. He's different now. He's more mature. He's found direction in life. This Lost knows where he's going, and he knows how he's going to get there. I respect that about him. It will be very difficult to let him go.

That said, even though Lost has changed, he won't let me down. He'll do what he can to ease the pain of the long goodbye, and he'll give me something that I can always hold on to.