Pseudo-Live Blog: "The Incident" SEASON FINALE!!!

Holy crap, I can't believe we won't see LOST again for another eight months (at least)! It's been a good night so far - Angels beat the Red Sox, Kris Allen beat out Danny Gokey... let's keep up that winning streak and have this be a fucking AMAZING episode of LOST!!!

• Previously On: Awww... Daniel..., he's telling them how to NOT have the plane crash into the island.
• And now, there is a spinning wheel? What. the Fuck. Should be expected though, right?
• Wait, what did that say? Must rewind and pause. Oh, it's totally illegible. Some weird kinda language.
• Must say, never seen a spinning wheel in action before
• Who in the world is this?!?! Jacob, perhaps?!?!!? The FIRST islander? It looks kinda old-timey, with the sailboat and everything...
• Who's the friend?
• Oh, ship... not sailboat. Ship, with sails.
• Maybe this is the FUTURE...?
  
• "Do you have any idea how badly I want to kill you?" - Man #2. Geeze.
• Loophole? So he CAN'T kill him!
• So it IS Jacob!!!! I KNEW it!
• WEIRD STATUE!!!!!!!!!

This is looking pretty good so far...!!!!!

• Cornfields. Iowa. Must be Kate-related.
• Must be her friend, that she loved, then killed. Well, sorta killed. GOT killed, actually.
• Five-finger discount, eh? She started her life of crime early. And I love that it's an NKOTB lunchbox.
• WTF?!?! JACOB PAID FOR THE NKOTB LUNCHBOX?!?!?!
• No, she's not going to steal, she's just going to kill her stepdad and become a fugitive.
• Ugh. Kate bugs. Sawyeret for the win!!!
• "We were happy in Dharmaville before you all showed up." You tell that bitch, Sawyer!
• 20 TON BOMB
• So... Daniel left instructions on how to extract the core... eh???
• Whoa. So she's prego with Dan-o. Dude, Daniel Faraday was NOT less than 30 years old when he got to the island. COME. ON.
• So, someone is a little ambitious, eh?
• And now, the trek to find JACOB.
• Ben's healing quite well.
• Yeah, just like Richard, I'd like to know how John's alive, too!
• Touche! Richard's never seen someone 'come back to life,' and John's never seen someone who doesn't age. Way to speak to the fan base.
• So, John wants to THANK Jacob. With all the other people in tow. Then he wants to deal with the peeps in '77. Hm.
• Ugh, these guys. the 'newbies' who didn' tprove to be much of anything htis season. Whoe the fuck are they? Jacob lovers? They think maybe that whatshisface is a 'candidate.' (I can NOT remember his name for life of me. I'll just call him El Capitan.)
• What IS in the box? The bomb from '77????

I bet that's what it is, which means that Jack was unsuccessful...

• And who's funeral would that be? Sawyer's dad's? Maybe? I bet.
• Oh no, duh, stupid. Saywer's dad killed his mom. Duh.
• John's??? Oh, never mind. It IS Sawyer!!! I should stick with my instincts!!!
• This relative has pretty good advice, but man, nobody listens to the grown ups, do they? He sure DOES finish that damn letter. And he sure DOES hold on to it.
• I wonder why they even need sedatives at all? Is it really that bad of a ride?
• Yeah, Sawyer doesn't have anything to get back to if that flight lands in LA.
• Juliet! What the HELL!
• These guys are BAD. ASS. (But the CGI isn't.)
• And yet, I feel like this will all go horribly awry...
• So Richard has visited John three times?!
• And Jack says not to give up on him? He's a changed man!
• Yeah... why hasn't Ben told Richard about John's plans to kill Jacob?
• Ha! Yeah, right. Ben's going to do what John says no matter what. Ha.
• Oh, I LIKE that. Ben doing John's dirty work!!!

• Are you telling me that Jacob doesn't come to Sayid until he's a GROWN up? And that Nadia is killed in a hit and run? But I thought that she died because... oh wait, Ben told Sayid that other people were responsible for her death. Fucking Jacob. His fault that Nadia died. He's EEEEVILLLLL.
• Eloise is a hard-ass.
  
• Oh! And Richard just pistol-whipped a prego! What?! Sheeze.
• What the HELL. Sayid got SHOT?! With a nuke on his back?
• Shoot-out in Dharmaville!
• And Hurley and Jin are to the rescue!!!

GEEEZE!!!

• Is that Juliet regretting the decision, or regretting that freakin' Kate is with them? I bet it's the latter.
• And what the FUCK is Vincent doing there?
• And what the FUCK are they doing with Bernard and Rose?!?!?!
• And why the FUCK is Bernard so fat?!
• "Because we're retired." - Rose. Probably going to be the best line of the episode. Guaranteed.
• Rose is a smart one. She says it like it IS.
• Dude, it disturbs ME that when Bernard said they just cared about being together, Sawyer looked at Kate. Imagine how poor Juliet must feel!
• FIVE MILES?!
• I love that they bring Rose and Bernard back every now and then. They know how to please us fans.
• OH! If what's in the box is NOT nukes, is it John's body?
• I like El Capitan's assessment of "We're the good guys."
• WHOA. So these guys know how to get to Jacob's love shack, eh? What. the fuck.
• Who dis be?
• Nadia? Does she have reconstructive surgery to become Ilana? Or is she just Ilana?
• She's just freakin' Ilana. And she apparently already knows who Jacob is. GAH.
• Aha. So they gotta find that huge ol' statue.

• Mmmhmm... Jacob was htere when John fell. I mean, got thrown out of a FUCKING WINDOW.
• And yet, John want so kill his ass. Kill it. Not kiss it.
• Wait. So Ben admits that he was PRETENDING to talk to Jacob. Is this all true?
• "So yes, I lied. That's what I do." I love Ben. I LURRRV Michael Emerson.
• Wow. John has a VERY good point. Why WOULDN'T Ben want to kill him.
• Oh my goodness! Aaron's cradle!
• Charlie's RING!!!! I miss CHarlie!
• Aw... SunJin! JinSun! Almost brings me to tears. ALMOST.
  
• Lemme guess... Jacob is there.
• I koinda hate that Jin was totally cuckholded by that bitch.
• And yup, Jacob was there. Wedding crasher.
• Oh GAHD. Three people can stop one van!?

• The four-toed foot!
• WHAT? Jacob lives in the foot? Is that like the old lady who lived in the shoe?
• Another Jack-Sawyer face-off... Hm. That five minutes could be Sayid's LIFE.
• Oh, this is that story he told Kate.
• And do NOT tell me Jacob is there.
  
• Ah, he's there after. Like he's her father or some shit. Or, he's just THERE.
• I love how Jack tried to impress Kate with a story that was so less than heroic. He didn't make himself count to five. Typical guy - to lie to impress a girl.
• And yeah, Jacob was there afterward.
• Sharing is caring, ain't it, Sawyer.
• "I don't speak Destiny." - Sawyer. Ok, maybe THAT is the best line of the episode...
• That's right - what does Jack want from all this?
• Kate. He had Kate and lost her. He doesn't want to have to deal with that. He wants to erase it.
• And then they fight? What the hell.
• WHOA! A kick in the balls! DAMN Sawyer!
• Juliet is one fickle bitch. Sheesh, woman!

• So even Juliet gets a visit from Jacob?
• Hell yeah, he has a right to know why she changed her mind.
• "If I never meet you, then I never have to lose you." Oh god, that breaks my heart.
• Radzinski - that's the crazy one with the glasses. He's the one that blows his brain out. Ha! He's a stupid fucker. He's the one who causes the 'incident.'
• Yeah, bitch. Wipe the blood from his wound. Hurt him even more.
• I heart Matthew Fox.
• Oh shit. It's happening. The Incident.

• When he goes to jail? For the Sayid incident?
• Damn Jacob. He's seriously evil. I think.
• Fuh-reaky! "I was waiting for you, Hugo."
• CHARLIE'S guitar!
• Kiss her! Damnit, why didn't you kiss her!!!
• And then they went into Jacob's home...

• DUDE... Miles is smart.
• Shoot-out at the Swan. Good thing they all know how to use guns.
• Whoa. Intense. Emotional. And... nothing?!?!
• Shit, Jack got hit! Marvin Candle lost his hand!
• And stupid ass got impaled!
• No! NOT JULIET!!!!
• I'm going. to. cry.
• I'm crying. That HURT.

"I love you, James. I love you so much..."

• Ricardos, huh.
• Some unintelligible language...
• What the hell is in that stupid box?!?! It's someone's body. Has to be.
• DID I CALL IT OR WHAT!
• So... lemme guess... Is "Locke" Jacob? Holy Fuckery, what the hell is going on?!?!
• And I'm still reeling over Juliet's death...
• Loophole?
• Have I mentioned how much I love Michael Emerson?
• "What about you?" OUCH.
• Wow. They actually did it.
• And I'm sad all over again that Juliet is down there. Oh! but not dead... yet...
• Set it off! Set! IT! OFF!!!!!

Wow. That. Was fucking. INCREDIBLE.

Pseudo-Live Blog: "Follow the Leader"

Yay! Someone commented on my blog this year! Someone's reading this besides me! Yippee!!! Let's get on with it then, shall we?

• Previously on: John Locke died, but he's on the island; Ben has something to do with something; Faraday explains how to change the future - or is it past?
• Back at the last scene from last week - WHY are they making us watch this again? I don't want to see - ugh.
  
• Whoa, Jack just got rifle-whipped by Widmore. FUCK he's totally yucky!!!!
• Haha, Kate wanted to lie to them, and Jack told the truth. That was pretty funny.
  
• I like how it's not just your typical flashback/flash forward - it's YEARS between them.
• Ok, so this is present day, and John Locke has found The Others.
  
• I still don't get why Alpert doesn't age...
  
• What the hell errand does John have to run with Alpert? And is that something different the fact that he DIED? Or that he really does have a purpose? And what is the purpose?
• Ben don't look so good. At all.
• I forgot how Sun - oh yeah, they were in the cottages and found that picture?
  
• WHAT THE FUCK - watched them all DIE? Richard - what the hell are you saying? Oh GAAHHHHD...
  

Ok, I know that I overreacted. Clearly, there is an explanation for what he just said. Clearly. Right? They didn't really all die. In 1977. Right?

• So that scene with John/Alpert/Ben/Sun was not so eventful.
• NOW we're getting somewhere. Jack is still getting his face bashed in. Please, please Others, don't mess up his pretty face. It's too pretty...
• Kate has a great point. And, duh, you know that she was a fugitive. She would have gone to JAIL. Of course she doesn't want to change the futurepast.
• This Eloise has a very strange face. As if she's molded from wax or whatever.
  
• Wait, that's not true, Jack. If you do what's in that journal, doesn't that mean that only the 'future' will change?
  
• BUT then, if the future changes, there's no need for Daniel to go back, and therefore he won't die.
• Great. Now Sawyer is getting his face bashed in. WHY are you ruining the handsome faces? WHY?
  
• I thought these Dharma people were all about peace, love, and something. Well, yeah, we've already seen they're totally not.

Oh yeah, and the Dharma camp is atop the bomb Jack needs. Convenient.

• Yuck. Poor Sawyer.
• Horace has a point. Stop making his face ugly.
  
• Man, that guy is a Class A Douche for hitting Juliet like that.
  
• Back at the camp... Hurley steals food, the two Asians become the three Asians.
• And Dr. Chang/Marvin Candle just realized that Miles is his son. He's actually going to listen to what Faraday said.
• Back in the future... John is the leader. And I echo Ben's sentiment - "What plane?"
• Oh right. The PLANE.
• What the heck.... John is telling Alpert how to tell himself what to do? Fuckery. Fuckery!
• And the shit-eating grin on John's face was priceless.

• I don't remember how John got shot...
• "How did you know H'wen to be here?" - Ben
• Ah, cool how we heard him disappear.
• Why does Richard seem shocked that John has died?
• So now Sawyer is making a bargain. He and Juliet on the sub in exchange for info.
  
• He's not going to tell them where the hostiles are - he ran cons... come on.
• WHOA. I coulda sworn Kate got shot! Sayid to the rescue! Almost forgot he was there... oops!

Not going to lie, I'm pretty freaking sleepy watching this. I need to power through the rest of the episode, but it makes it very difficult to type!!!

• So the three Losties are conferencing. And Jack of course thinks he's right again - he's certain of it. '
• They are making people get on the sub now, and Miles sees his dad yell at his mom to get her off the island.
• Sawyer wants to pull a Biff and place huge bets on games.
• I wonder if the sub really will take them somewhere else... hmmm....
• This whole swimming to get under a tunnel, or whatever thing is pretty crazy. Wait, is this where Adam & Eve come from? Remember from eason 1? Adam and Eve?
• Oh the tunnel thing - Matthew Fox was talking about that being a risky/scary stunt.
• (Wow, this sleep is really getting to me.)
• I think I totally missed what happened to Kate. She left, but why again? And where to? Ugh....
• It's really weird to see Richard the same age 30 years apart.
  
• John's a really weird leader. Definitely wet behind the ears. That's what I think, at least.
• Yeah, I'd like to know why Jacob's whereabouts are secret too.
  
• Dude... this better not be like the Wizard of Oz, where there is no Jacob, and it's just some weirdo.
• Ok, so did Ben mean kill him in the future? L.A. future? Or kill him on the island? Which time that he tried to kill him???

• Back in 77. Sub time.
  
• Whoever thought Juliet and Sawyer would be so much in LURRRRV?
• Oh CRAP. And the Sawyeret is threatened once again. FUCK. I hate this. I want Juliet to be happy for once, the poor thing. And I'm pretty sick of Kate right now.
  
• Wow, that CGI doesn't look good at all. I'm too picky.
  
• This is one weird little lair they've got going on here.
  
• "Now what" is a good question, Eloise.
• Wait, so didn't they start their trek the night before?
• Nice CGI'd clouds. Did they really add to the atmosphere?
  
• Oh Ben, you big bullshitter.
  
• Yeah, why ARE they going.... so he can KILL him? WHAT?!?!

Dude, even BEN had a funky look on his face. Next week is the finale - that is nuts!!! I can't believe it. It makes me sad. I'm too tired to be funny or anything similar at this point.... :-/

Pseudo-Live Blog: The Variable

Yay! New episode! Yay! Previously on!

• Looks like it's about Desmond and his mum. Based on the Previously On.
• Oh, I thought that was Miss Clu - the doctor lady.
• Aha... so Eloise pays Penny a visit then?
  
• Well, duh, we knew her son was Daniel. Uh, was there supposed to be mystery in that?
• So, Daniel is at the dock, seeing Miles.
  
• Dan wants to see the newbies. Fast. Now.
• And here's the clip that's been making the talk show rounds while Matthew Fox has been representin'.
• Whuuu...?? Oh. Star Trek. Meh.

• Must be young Dan. They got a good look-alike for his mum too. Where the heck are they? Why doesn't Daniel have a dialect?
• Destiny. There's that word again.
• Jack had too many clothes on.
• Juliet says. Sawyer does.
  
• Phil is in trouble. I don't really know why they told Jack about that.
  
• Oh! That's the weird scene we saw earlier in the season! The 'you need a hard hat down here' scene!!!
• Here is why the button is born. HOW the button is born?

• Hm. Maybe Daniel was doing reverse psychology on Dr. Chang?
• I really hate Daniel's 90's hair. And how about that control Eloise has over Daniel. Ha.
• He got a grant from Widmore - ah - yep, called it.
  
• Still wondering why the hell he doesn't have a dialect.
• No wonder everyone thinks Daniel is crazy. He IS.
• Oh, maybe he's not that crazy. Ha. He knows one of the hostiles is his mum.

• Oh! Yay, this is what we saw about Daniel when we first learned about him. Wonderful. Still don't know who that woman is.
• So, Widmore finds him.
• Wait, how does he get this memory thing.... what the fuckery? Need to know how the hell this happens.
  
• Weird, Widmore is telling Dan about the fake plane. WTF. I would be freaked if I was Dan.
• "Whoa. Why would you tell me that?" says Dan.
• And why wouldn't Dan remember tomorrow?
• See. Juliet overrode what Sawyer said/did.
  
• Dan's going to go see Charlotte. Hahaha. Weird.
  
• Wow, he looks super creepy. I would not want that man around my kid.
• Shootout at the old corral!
• Holy crap Dan is bleeding!

• What is with this memory thing? I want to know what the hell happened.
  
• WTF, how was Daniel all bleeding and stuff but now he's fine?
• Uh. Oh. Problems in Sawyeret-ville.
• BIG problems in Sawyeret-ville.
• Meanwhile, back in the jungle...
• The story of the button!!!
• WTF?!?!?! How NUTS would that be if flight 815 actually landed in LA like it was supposed to?!?!
• HYDROGEN BOMB!
• And then, back in present-day...
• Uh, I have a feeling little Charlie is not going to just be watched, but taken...
• Awww... Desny are so cute!
• Wait. Did Widmore just say that Daniel was his son too?!?!?!?!?! I mean, I always suspected... but.... ?!?!?!?!
• WHAT. The FUCK. She shot her own son. She shot - she killed Daniel!
• Wow. I am so very. very. sad! Ok, maybe just a little.
  

THIS is getting really interesting now.

Live Blog: "Some Like It Hoth"

Wow, no previously on... crazy! Who the - oh this is Miles. Get it.

Damn, I'm buzzed...ok. Gotta get it together....

• So little Miles is honing his skills. Yup. Dead body in a nearby apartment. Love those.
• Yeah, I would be scared if he were my kid too.
• And, 'present day'... they're trying to sneak lil Ben out. Miles is way older now. But the funny thing is that the little preview was probably just about 5 years before the Dharma stuff.
• Circle of Trust. hehehe... Horace the She-Man. (Sorry, actor. Sorry.)
• Oh, 334... what is that.
• WTF, who is that? Dead? Haha, fell into a ditch after he got SHOT IN THE HEAD!!!!!
• The dead guy is going to tell Miles all sorts of secrets. Love it.

Aaaannndddd... break!

• And we're back. Miles a little while ago. Meaning a little while from real present day.
• Poor mom is sick.... :-( And I kinda hate how they tried to make him look younger with that lame hairdo and piercings. He looks kinda stupid.
• Yeah, she's not going to tell him why/how he does what he does. But duh if Dad is dead, then Miles can talk to him instead. He's probably not even really dead. Just dead to her.
• "Somewhere you can NEVER go." That certainly wouldn't stop me. Just make me more determined - you?
• Haha... Hurley trying to prevent global warming. Nice.
• And Roger thinks Ben is dead... but how will they explain? Oh, play stupid. That makes sense. Don't get the drunk Work Man mad...
• I love Juliet. And I love Sawyeret. I hope they last.

• Shit, potty break made me miss the beginning. But duh, anyone knows that dead bodies release gas and smell in general. But Hurley doesn't know there's a body...
• Well, now he does.
• "You can talk to dead people..." Hehehe....
• Dude, Hurley, you... oh, wait. Christian? Is that what he means? Ana Lucia! Libby! Dave!!! Yes, he can.
• Now Miles looks his age. Thank God they are not trying to make him look younger.
• Sure, charge extra for a cremated body. Well, I guess I would too.
• Russell... Eh, I think he's BS'ing.
• NAOMI!!! I hate her wig - I mean, hair.
• Roger "Work Man" Linus is gross. Just putting that out there. What the fuck did he care about lil Ben anyway? He treated him like crap, so fuck Roger!!!
• Kate can never mind her own business, don't you know that Roger?
• "Love Will Keep Us Together" - nice.
• Ridiculous experiments on Hydra island, eh?
• WHAT?!?!?!?! That guy is his DAD?!?! Oh yeah... that's why his mom looked familiar. Shit. I should've picked up on that!!!!!!!

• Ugh. For whatever reason, I can't stand Naomi.
• WHOA! A purchase order for graves and an old airplane!!! Shit, that's the COVER UP!!!!!
• Still hate her wig.
• HOLY SHIT! $1.6 Million!!! Fuck yeah, I would go too!
• I still heart Matthew Fox...
• How did I NOT guess that Dr. Chang/Marvin Candle was Miles' dad. Fuck!
• Wait, fucking Miles is NOT my age. NOT AT ALL. He's like 40, and I am definitely NOT.
• I like that gate camo'd by the bushes. Nice touch. Wait, is this the Swan? It is, right. The HATCH!
• Oh shit, the numbers!!!!!

• Damn, they're just going to take him like that. I guess he's not getting that money after all.
• Oh, they don't want him to work for Widmore... so they must know Ben.
• Hm. What lies in the shadow of the statue? That has been brought up a few times.
• Yup, say it like it is, Miles. Get the money!!! Woooooo!
• But don't these guys know that no matter what, he'll end up with his dad anyway?
• The one that's gonna win... I wonder if we'll see these fools again.
• Dude, I do not like the FX!!! You can tell they're in some fake van with fake background. Eesh. I hate the little blue outline.
• "I don't wanna know him better... and stuff." hehehe.
• Dude, Hurley has a point. Miles needs to get this shit out.
• Hoth... here we go. He's writing something. What's a Hoth anyway? He's writing FanFic???? Lame. Hahah....
• OH - he's writing Empire Strikes Back... hahaha... he's going to pull a Biff. Hahahaha....
• La Fleur... I like. I like Sawyeret. I've said that already.
• "Get some rope." I like the sound of that... ;-)

Sheeeyoooooot.... internet got all f'd and I didn't save my last comments. But hey, this episode pretty much rocked my socks. Lost of reveals, and HELLO Dan Faraday!!!

Liveblog: Dead is Dead

Back in Ohio this week. Here we go!

• Previously on Lost: All sorts ofBen Linus stuff.
• Now, somedude riding a horse. And talk of Jacob! "The island chooses who the island chooses." - Richard Alpert.
• This guy looks all medieval and stuff. He's there to see Ben. Is this Widmore?
• Ben wantsto staywith the Others. Big surprise. Here is where Ben starts to become an Other.
• YES!!!! It IS Widmore!!!
• Wasthat a big flashback for old Ben?
• Land of the living my ass. These people are all dead. They have to be.
• I never believe this guy. Going to be judged.
• OH. By the Monster. Hmph.

I need to turn the cc off. And do the plank.

• Assassin lady. I didn't like her on New Amsterdam, and I don't like her now.
• What the heck was that exchange all about?
• And we still don't know who this guy is. He packed a gun. Ben is playing him.
• Alex is back in this episode.
• WTF Ben, you're an ass. He's making alliances.
• Ah, remember the good ol' days when he was Henry Gale? Benry, as we called him?
• Nice hair. Whoa, that's Ethan. Crazy. This is the late 80's-early 90s? Oh, 80's.
• He took Alex. That sucks. Poor Danielle.
• Ben didn't have the heart to kill Danielle. He was just getting started back then.
• So he really did love Alex, did he.
• The Elephant in the Room = the fact that you fucking KILLED ME.
• See, I knew it. Ben needed that information. The lady.
• B'whaaaa???? Decided to help Ben?!
• John Locke is a changed man since his death.
• Oh, Cesar. And that whole "My Friend" thing among certain men.
• Wow. Ben totally just shot Cesar. "Consider that my apology."

• Row, row, row... ok - couldn't help it.
• Oh yeah, who the hell beat Ben up? I can't remember.
• Aha. He wants to be judged for letting Alex die. Love it.
• Widmore, still ontheisland, eh?
• Complication my ass - he just couldn't kill her. Ben used to have a heart.
• And Ben questions Charles for the first time. Is it what Jacob wants? Is it?
• Goooooood question John! Whose idea was it?
• Whoa.... there's a freakin' person in Alex's room!!!! Alex? Be that you?
• Ha! Sun!
• Whoaaaaa... Christian came to tell them to wait for John! Freakin' nuts!!!!

• It's interesting that Lapidis is there at all.
• Aw... Sun + Jin Forever!
• I love Terry and Michael. Love them.
• So Ben CAN summon the monster. We guessed he might have last season when it came after Kiwi and his men. (Yes, I know it's Keamy, but I like to call him Kiwi.)
• Ew. WTF. Was that like a big toilet flush???
• God, Ben's hair is AWFUL.
• So this is how Charles leaves.
• Whoa. Charles was kinda right, eh? If the island wants her dead, she'll be dead. And so she died.
• So is Ben being judged because he KEPT Alex?
• Ben is scared... because he thinks they may be dead too, is my guess. Because that is what I fucking think.
• Hahahah! He told Sun to go back in fearing the monster, and it was just Locke. Oy.
• What da huh? John says he knows where Smoky is? Psh.

• Liar. John is not the same. Not JUST the same, at least.
• What. Ben kills Penny, eh? Nah. Don't believe it. But we will see how Ben got all beat up.
• Where the hell is that? The wall around our temple? Wha?
• UNDER the temple... isn't that where those dudes got sucked in by the monster? The ones that were with Danielle?
• WHAT? So he DID kill Penny? WTF. Fucking A.
• Is that supposed to be Long Beach? Yup. A sign for Catalina. Interesting.
• He can't kill a kid. Or can he?
• AHA! So Des beat the crap out of Ben. Love it. Love it!!!!

• What the fuckery is this? Ilana isin charge now? Geeze. I hate newbies.
• And this temple thing. This is just weird.
• Dude, that's totally where Ben needs to be.How does John NOT knowthat?
• What's with the hieroglyphics?
• WHOA! The monster existed back then!
• And now it's SURROUNDING Ben!!!!
• These FX are not that great.
• Ugh, that is so sad when Alex got shot. Hate these FX.
• That's not Alex. That's Smoky. Just like Eko saw his bro.
• So, Ben was going to kill Locke again. Adn I think he's lying when he ays he'll follow him.
• That's one long piece of vine John found.

This episode should have been amazing.... but it was - ugh. Maybe I need to think about it further. Maybe I'm just distracted from being here. In Ohio. Bored. Ugh.

Okie dokie. That's all I gotta say for now. Just not enlightened.

Psuedo-Live Blog: "What Happened, Happened"

Ah yes. Another Wednesday staying up late so that I can write this for you. And by you, I mean, me.

• Previously on Lost. Ok, we have Skate stuff going on. Mostly Kate, I guess. Something about her and Clementine and Aaron. (It kinda "helps" that I read the freakin' description of the episode, though.) Oh yeah, and Ben got shot last week by Sayid.
• So, Sayid did NOT break Jin's nec. I repeat, he did NOT break Jin's neck. Sorta disappointing in terms of dramatic effect, but glad to know Jinny-Jin-Jin is alive.
• Ben, meanwhile, is barely hanging on - or is he? He's a clever one, I'm sure even when he's severely injured.
• Meanwhile, back at Camp Dharma, people are trying to calmly get organized. And Jack starts asking questions. And She-man Horace doesn't like it. I say She-man because he looks like a menopausal woman who stopped caring about her looks.
  
• So Ben's papa is kinda flirty with Freckle. Ha. Ick. Ew. Oh, and he had her at Linus. Meaning, she felt the ick factor too.
• Jin carries a wounded Ben onto Camp Dharma. And Roger "Work Man" Linus actually seems to give a crap.
• Meanwhile, back in Hawaii - I mean, LA... aaron's a wittle baby. "Mama" Kate pays Cassidy a visit. "Baby Mama" Cassidy. And has to break the news that she knows Sawyer. Catfight, anyone???

• Tons of money!!! TONS!
  
• Sawyer sure told Kate a bunch of stuff in a short amount of time.
  
• Cassidy ain't buying this shiiiizzzz.
  
• So... no catfight?
  
• Cassidy is good. She know what's what with Aaron.
  
• Aaaaand... back on the island... Kate gets involved in business she ain't supposed to be involved in. Can't that bitch just keep still for a minute?
• god, horace got FAT. It's so easy to pick on him. It's probably very insulting to the actor who plays him.
• Hm. So Jack is a suspect, since they were janitor keys on the door. Of course, we know that Ben took 'em from The Work Man Supremo.
  
• Ooooh, see. Rog don't have the keys. Now he's Suspect Supremo.
• And they have the look on their face that says, "Jack has to fix this. Damnit, why does it always have to be Jack?"
• Hahahaha... Hurley: "Checking to see if I'm disappearing."
• Shit yeah, Miles' explanation is really confusing. How did something happen that you are unaware of? What is the point of origination?
• Aaaand... Jack refuses to help because he freakin' thinks he's God. As always. Could this be the season I finally like Sawyer more than Jack? I mean, Matthew Fox is looking a little more haggard....

• Jack is so right, he's done his part - he's saved Ben. Ah, finally he thinks he's NOT supposed to fix things. Ok, maybe I was a little premature about the Saywer/Jack thing.
  
• Oh, shoot. He's right, Kate didn't like the old Jack, either. So, basically, he just told her that she always liked Sawyer better.
• Hahaa, I was just going to say "Where's Ethan?" But uh, Ethan is a baby.
  
• Roger's not that stupid. He knows what Sawyer was up to asking him that key question. No pun intended.
• I like how Miles and Hurley are trying to figure out the whole time travel thing, in order to help us figure out what the hell is going on. Good device.
  
• Hurley's question about Ben remembering Sayid is exactly what I've been thinking. So... there really is no explanation, and it's the writers' way of saying, "Just don't think too much about it, peeps."
• Wow, Juliet. That's BOLD. Thinking of having The Others help. Why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, because it's nearly midnight, and I'm TIRED.

• How is Kate going to manage? Juliet doesn't know Kate at all, does she.
• I like that we get to see everyone's perspective of what happened leading up to the Ajeera flight.
  
• Holy shit, how did she manage to lose Aaron?
  
• Whoa that was weird - she looked just like Claire. From the back. Totally uglier from the front.
• I wonder just how many of those Dharma vans there are.
• Of course Sawyer is going to help Freckles. But I LIKE Sawyerette!!!

• Who the hell has a No Smoking sign above their doorbell? Clearly that must've been a public house.
• So Kate and Cassidy have had an ongoing friendship. "Auntie Kate" says Clementine.
• Dude, Claire wasn't just gone - she didn't just leave him. She kinda... died?
• Eh, I dunno if I buy Kate taking a baby to fill the void of Sawyer.
  
• Awwww... Sawyer LURVS Juliette enough to help Ben! Awww....
  
• What? Juliet just barges in on Jack in the shower?
  
• What's up with Jack not drying off before putting his shirt on? And I love how he has a shirt on, but the towel could fall off at any moment... I mean, that's not very modest, is it.
• And Sawyer and Kate have a moment regarding Clementine. Well, it looks like Cassidy was right about Sawyer jumping from the 'copter.

• Apparently Christian Shepard likes 'em young and MILFy.
• Claire's mom sure doesn't look like Claire's MOM.
  
• Dude, Kate is crazy to tell Claire's mom about this Aaron stuff. AND the island stuff. Crazy!
• Here we go. I'm getting a little teary-eyed over Kate's goodbye.
  
• Why does Alpert look confused?
  
• Oh, that pretty much explains what happened to Ben. "He'll forget this ever happened, and his innocence will be gone. He will always be one of us." - Alpert.
• The Creation of Benjamin Linus - Manipulative Fuck.
• Where DID they go? And, backtracking a bit, WHO was it that Alpert was told to check with?
• And WHAT? Is that where young Ben woke up? In 'present day' with John Locke?

I have to say, I find that Kate-centric episodes have become increasingly less enjoyable. The fact that it was capped with something completely weird made it even more awkward for me. But it is past midnight now, and I'm all sleepsville, so...? Best thing about the episode was that Sawyer seems pret-ty darn dedicated to Juliet. Liking that.

Live Blog: "He's Our You"

Oooh! For real live this week! Let's get on with it then, shall we?

• Previously on Lost: All Sayid, all the time. Shall we guess that this week's episode is Sayid-centric? We shall, we shall.
• Tikrit. Shall we guess that is little Sayid? Say? Or 'Yid?
  
• Oy, subtitles + liveblogging = disaster. Thank goodness for DVRs.
• The chicken must be killed, little man. Gross.
  
• Oh, this must be Sayid, the one who gives him feed.
  
• Yup. Killed him with his own hands. That was Sayid. Right?
• Yup, Sayid is The Man. Cute little man, too.
• Oh right, so he's jailed because he's thought to be a Hostile.
  
• Awwww... Little Ben is so nice. How DID he get to be the way he did?
• Sayid won't eat because it's Lil Ben that's feeding him. How WEIRD. He must be like, what? How the hell did this cute little kid become so manipulative?
  
• But maybe the little kid is being manipulative right now. Oh he ISSSSS!!!!!

And... break! Well, pretty much time for me to check some e-mail and ffwd the DVR to catch up. (Oh right... I still have to watch this week's Castle. Love me some Nate Fillion.)

• Crazy camera work! this guy's running after someone DANGEROUS! Aka, Sayid.
  
• Oh, it's Sayid the Assassin. The one who worketh for Benjamin.
• What was he looking at on his head? Did I miss something? Just checking if he was dead?
• Russia? That's Cyrillic, right? What the heck do I know?
• These two seem like they made a good team. Until now. Because now, Ben is breaking up with poor Say.
• What a bummer. Free. Right. Sayid is not free. Not free of the torture that plagues his lost soul.
• Oh those do not look good at ALL. Sayid knows what those are for.
  
• Haha. But they are for cutting the binds. I fell for it too. Drrrrr.....
• Horace is ugly. He's like a man-woman.
  
• inFILtrate. Interesting. Is that a common pronunciation?
• Ooooohhh... the next level. Horace, you don't even KNOW what the next level is. Say is going to kick your sorry man-woman ass!!!
• Aw, Juliet - she is sad because Kate is there, and Sawyer loves her. Booooo...
  She lurvs her some Sawyer.
• Not only is Hoarace a man-woman, he is also short.
  
• Sawyer's going to bust a can of whoop-dee-do on the Hostile.
  
• "A 12-year-old Ben Linus brought me a chicken salad sandwich. How do you think I'm doing?" - LOVE!!!
• "Let's see how you feel after three years of living in the 70's." - LOVE LOVE!!!
• Dude, Say. Sawyer is right. Cooperate or die, Say.

• Aren't people going to wonder why the newbs are totally getting along swimmingly with the Dharmas? Oh wait, Hurley wasn't a Dharma.
• Hurley and his big mouth just broke two hearts. Weird. Hahaha.
• Oh gosh, who - oh, this is Ben's Papa!
  
• Duuuuuuude. Ben's dad is cuh-ray-zay. And actually got Say-say feeling sorry for the kid.
  
• I want to go to there. Hawaii, that is, not necessarily Santo Domingo. Not that there's anything wrong with the DR. Hear it's lovely.
• Wait, so... won't Ben remember who the hell all these weird people are now that they are prison pals?
• Ooooh. Ben is calling Sayid a killer. That's not right. Sayid is a tortured soul. Ben is - oh Ben.
• Oh, that was a "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you" moment.
• What? Billie Holiday or something?
• Who's this guy. Holden did they say?
• How is he going to get out of this one? He can't. He didn't want to!
• Oh god, poor Sawyer has to watch.
• Holden's dialect is scary.

Wow, I like the "He's our you" line.

• I like how it's showing all this from Say's POV. But now we have to know how he gets there.
• Cute bartender!
• So, this lady manages to get him onto the plane.
  
• Oh, it's that expensive scotch. Forgot the name, but the one that Widmore drinks.
• She's a big fat liar. She is there for a reason. We just need to know what the hell it is.
• So what did you do? "I killed lots and lots of people."
• She's a wily one now, isn't she.
• What the hell did they do to him anyway? Truth serum?
• Ha. No one is going to believe this story! Hahaha.
• Hahaha... they think they used too much drugs on him.
  
• And the two chicas are worried about Saw and Say.
• What's in Ann Arbor?
• Evil Baby Ethan.
  
• Sawyer can't really get outta this one... eeeeek.
• Yup. Radzinski won.

• Sexy time with Sayid. Woweee wow.
• Does she drug him into - oh now, she kicks him in the face!
• Wow, she's pretty freakin' good then.
• What's Sawyer cookin' up???
• Oh, why did they come back, that's what he wanted to know. She's going to say something about coming back for him....
• Serio. WTFH?
  
• Ah, extras. They're so awesome.
• How does a burning bus drive into a building like that? He must've got Lil Ben to do it. OR - Lil Ben just DID it.
• Sayid's purpose is to show Ben to the Hostiles? Hm.

• I take it she was hired by Ben, not that dude's family.
  
• OMG - is he going to kill BEN!!!!!
• Who's there? Ah, just Jin.
• Did he just kill JIN???
• WHAT!
• WHAT?!?!
• Did he just kill JIN AND BEN!?!?!?!
• WHAT?!?!?!?!